For love's sake!

Often I hear clients talk about wanting to make changes to their wellbeing or lifestyle because they are fearful. Fearful of what might happen if they continue on the path they are on, fearful for their health or fearful of the impact they are having on those around them. We all make decisions based on fear to some extent in our life. Being motivated by fear is a natural evolutionary survival technique. 

While fear is a powerful motivator, it is a negative one. If you make a decision to change based on avoiding the potential negative consequences, then your decision is ultimately fear based and in my personal and professional experience the potential positive outcomes rarely eventuate. Decisions based in fear will never truly fulfil you, allow you to live a meaningful or healthy life and will never give you what you really want in life. Yes, ultimately fear based decisions suck in the long term! Believe me I know first hand!

Instead of making decisions out of fear we need to make decisions out of LOVE. Yes, the hippies were right all along people! But in all seriousness, making decisions out of love for yourself and others is incredibly powerful and will only always lead you on a path to inner peace, contentment and fulfilment regardless of the outcome. 

Making decisions out of love does not always mean that you need to drastically change your life. Below are some simple ideas that will help you come from a place of love the next time you decide you want to make some changes to your life:

  1. Become conscious. Many of us live out our day on autopilot. This is a coping technique that allows us to preserve our energy and go about our day making the hundreds of decisions we need to make. Instead, switch off the auto pilot and become fully aware and present in each moment. Activate your internal consciousness next time you are faced with a decision and make sure it comes from a place of love.
  2. Release the control. Often our fear is based in situations that are not in our control. We think that by doing or not doing something out of fear that we are protecting ourselves or others, when at the end of the day we are simply preventing ourselves from experiencing all that this beautiful life has to offer. Accept that unfortunate and fortunate things will happen and that regardless of what fear based decisions we make in trying to protect ourselves and start facing life with a full and open heart.  
  3. Discover what lies within. By reconnecting with your inner values, passions and truths you will be able make conscious decisions that not only align with your inner core but come from a deeply positive place of love for yourself. Ask yourself - Who am I? What do I care about? What do I stand for? What do I want other people to think or see in me? What is my purpose in life? Write down the answers as they will help you in starting to reconnect to the love and truth within. 
  4. Reframe the negative and find the positive. It happens. when we are not actively being conscious we default to making decisions based in fear. When that happens take time to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, is the decision I am making based in fear or love? If it is based in fear, how can I reframe my thoughts and decision making to make sure that this decision is out of love for myself or others? 

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.
— John Lennon